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Get the F Out of My Life by Kregg Nance

About Me

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First of all, I am quite proud to have been with my wife for over 20 years. Theories and books are one thing, but living in the real world involves sticking with the one you love for a long time and learning the best ways to work it out.

I started out as an elementary school teacher, which as many of you probably know, gives a person lots of on the job mediation skills. I have done other work including casting TV commercials and a print/web design business.  I lived in Los Angeles for 27 years, Nashville for 10 years and many areas of the South as a child and finally now happily in Sarasota. I began to notice that conflict was evident in all jobs and places, so several years ago I decided to return to school and get a master's degree in conflict management from Lipscomb University. Through working with the Nashville Conflict Resolution Center and Sumner Mediation Services Victim Offender Reconciliation Programs, I mediated many couples who had gotten so far off track that they either get physical with each other or end up yelling to the point that the police are called. Judges would often send these couples to mediation to work out a plan that will keep them out of the courts. The mediation was the first time in years most of these couples had a chance to hear each other and work together to come up with a way to get their relationship back on track....Read More...

The Transformative Power of Apology

Several years ago, I was still somewhat new to mediation and I had been working with the Nashville Conflict Resolution Center and Sumner Mediation Services doing victim/offender as well as civil mediations. I had noticed several times how often apology can be an impasse breaker no matter the subject.

A transformative moment happened during one particular mediation between a pastor of a church and a former congregant, who had become disaffected with the church and was now disrespecting and disparaging the pastor. The pastor had gone to the police to try to get the young man to stay away and not bother the other congregants as they came to church. We spent an hour or so going through both sides and had been able to address some of the technical issues and turn it into an agreement, including that the young man would not trespass or bother other church goers. I had assumed that we were going to be wrapping it up soon when unexpectedly the pastor turns to me with tears in his eyes and says "I am a third degree black belt, please help me".

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